Several Steps Away

When I suck in my gut, the scale doesn’t take notice
Unlike when I do the same in front of my grandma
“You look a bit thinner” she’ll declare as my back is turned
I’ve lost a bit, I say tightly, clutching my breath
“Yes. You are sometimes very hard to look at.”
Sharp air escapes flared nostrils
Both hers and mine

I call her “grandma” in my head, but never to her face
A disgruntled parent of a step-parent, I’m forbidden
Yet, both her love and distain remain intact
“I’m not really flesh and blood” she’ll remind me
But still question why I don’t wish her well
On Hallmark manifestations
like Grandparents Day